The Colonel T Show

Right here.

And I thought he loved me.

For those interested in such things, I finished 1360th out of 2247 participants in the 2nd Annual Pokerstars Blogger Championship. I couldn’t catch a hand, and when I finally did, my all-in A-Q fell to someone’s A-K, and that was that. Longtime readers will remember last year’s tournament, where I finished 639th out of 1473 bloggers. How…um…uninteresting to write about.

By the way, I’m typing this at 9:32 PM; the tournament, which started at 3:00PM Central time, is STILL going on. It’s down to heads-up, and the chip count is even. It could go on for hours still.

As for the rest of my first Father’s Day, I must say it was pretty great. I started the morning solo-feeding the babies, then I took them to my parents’ where I was treated to pancakes, eggs, bacon, and best of all, a two-hour nap.

Later, Elizabeth gave me a beautiful sectioned picture frame with a selection of baby pictures for me to hang up in my office. She gave this to me at the BP gas station, which made it all the more special.

And now, I’m going to watch the rest of a pirated Doctor Who episode, followed by tonight’s The 4400, followed by some push-ups, and finally bed. While it’s very likely I’ll only be performing three out of those four acts, I’ll leave it to you to determine which will be left out.

Oh! The tournament just ended. Congratulations to Daleroxxu, who wins a $12,000 World Series of Poker package. I assume his name means “Dale Rocks You,” which is so cool and innovative I can barely contain myself. No, I’m not bitter in the slightest.

The Star Trek franchise is in dire straits. It has never been less popular. Certainly drastic action is necessary to change the current public perception of Star Trek as outdated, crusty, and moldy. Yes, Star Trek now shares at least three descriptive properties with stale bread. Alas, poor Roddenberry.

Paramount Pictures, the studio that has brought Star Trek to the masses for nearly 40 years, recently announced JJ Abrams will produce and possibly direct Star Trek XI. That’s a great start. Abrams is red-hot right now, and he has a long and storied history in the science fiction genre dating all the way back to his sprawling ‘90s space epic television series Felicity.

It’s rumored that Abrams’ take on Star Trek will be a “rebooting” of sorts, focusing on Kirk and Spock at Starfleet Academy and their first adventure together. While I’m not too keen on revisiting the prequel concept again (I think the franchise can be “rebooted within continuity”) I’m certainly going to keep an open mind. And the truth is, deep down I know that virtually nothing will keep me out of the theater on opening night. Though I’m nowhere near as hardcore as I was 20 years ago (I’m more “firmcore” these days) I’ll watch whatever Paramount puts out. Some might call me a sucker, I call myself devoted.

In fact, I used to joke that of all the infinite permuations of tweaks and alterations that could be made to Star Trek, only one –ONE! – would prevent me from watching.

And wouldn’t you know it…

If, as the rumors suggest, Ben Affleck will play Captain Kirk, I’m out. I’m done. Star Trek will be over for me. It’s sacrilege. Horrific, appalling sacrilege. The DaVinci Code just scratched the surface of sacrilege compared to this.

I cannot impress upon you enough just how bad this is for me. Try this: “George Clooney as Mr. Spock” will not keep me out of the theater.

Yeah, that’s how bad this is.

I mean really! Statistically, of all the actors on Earth and all the characters those actors could play, the odds of this happening are like 922 trillion billion to one. And it’s not like I’m completely opposed to someone else playing Kirk (I don’t mind this guy doing it, for example), but it’s my God-given duty to despise Ben Affleck. For B’Affleck to walk in the sacred shoes of Shatner and Kirk, well, it’s unthinkable. And I’m deadly serious — If this is true I’m done with Trek. I’ll go back to dance school or something.

That’s right — dance school. For all our sakes, let us pray it is only a rumor.

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 3150434