I just killed 90 minutes searching the names of every single person I’ve ever met. I’m told this is called “Facebook Stalking” and it’s made me feel dirty.
I added my wife, Elizabeth, as a friend, and I guess that means that we’re getting pretty serious. It’s a big step for us.
I could see where a 14-year-old would spend every waking hour on this thing. (Facebook, not my blog.)
Friend me, if you are so inclined. I cherish your love.
Last night brought us the three-hour (!!!) premiere of Heroes on the NBC television network. Hour one took us to a red carpet premiere party where the stars of the show, including an unnaturally tan Sylar, recapped the past seasons and previewed the new one. I was grateful for the recap, because I’d forgotten some key elements of the finale, including but not limited to: everything that happened in the finale and every episode that preceded it.
After the party, Sylar returned to his hotel room to inject himself with bronzer. The rest of us were treated to two episodes of the new season. Well, “treated” is not quite the right word. “Subjected to” maybe? However you phrase it, Heroes is lousy and I’m not sure it’s fixable.
You know what the problem is as well as I do — a show about gods is inherently dramaless, particularly when the gods are written as idiots. Too many characters are way too powerful, and the writers are completely backed into a corner.
Look no further than the first three minutes: Future Claire points a gun at Future Peter’s head, intending to kill him. Peter, you’ll recall, absorbs powers from other Heroes, and is as such omnipotent. Claire is quite aware of this. Nevertheless, she pulls the trigger. There is no way — NO WAY — you can spin this so it makes any sense. Claire isn’t stupid. Neither are we. Think of all the ways Peter could have beaten death:
I’m sure I’m missing other possibilities, but you get my point. Over the course of these two episodes I must have said to myself “Why didn’t he/she just…” about 30 times. Why can’t Future Peter just go back in time and kill Sylar before he got his powers? Why didn’t Sylar rip the door off its hinges with his mind? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It’s odd to say this, considering this a show about superheroes, but Heroes isn’t realistic enough.
This all started back at the end of Season One, when Hiro just ran up to Sylar with a samurai sword and stabbed him in the heart. Sylar just kind of stood there, instead of using one of the many powers at his command to strike down Hiro. That was so disappointing, because the show had been so brilliant up to that point. It never really recovered.
(And are we really going to have another apocolypse this season? Really? Meh.)
At least we’ve got Bruce Boxleitner on the scene. Maybe he’ll save us. He has to.
Oh, and a special note to Greatest American Hero star William Katt, who graced the second episode last night: Bill, my friend, time to let that haircut go.
The indoor pool at the Springfield, Ohio Fairfield Inn is completely visible from the lobby. As I checked in last night, I could see a 300-pound man wearing a white t-shirt and boxer shorts wading in the pool. He was greasy and hairy. And fat. He kept rubbing his face, and running his hands over what was clearly a combover. Periodically he would dunk his head under the water, and upon surfacing, would spit water back out into the pool.
Why this image is not on a brochure is beyond me. I hope he’s in the pool tomorrow morning while I’m enjoying my continental breakfast. A bagel, a newspaper, and a hairy, wading fat guy. That’s how you jumpstart a day.
Later, I walked past the man as he waited for the elevator. He had no towel, no shoes, he was just dripping onto the tile as he absently rubbed his belly.
Too bad my room is on the first floor, I thought.
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